Murakoze

Three years ago today, God, in his goodness, powerfully used this sweet girl and the obedience of a mission team member.

His desire was to breakdown the seemingly impenetrable fortress I'd let rise up and surround my heart and supernaturally heal it.

It was a transformational week of impactful teaching. I'd just recovered from being laid out in the Holy Spirit and was joyfully dancing and praising.

And then I saw him, walking straight towards me. His hand holding the hand of a little girl who seemed reluctant to approach me.

He walked straight up to me. Gave me her hand and motioned for me to pick her up.

I inner raged a bit... Can you not see I'm dancing and worshipping? I don't want to babysit some strangers kid.

And then she looked at me with those giant eyes and I reached down and picked her up, not wanting to reject her.

She hung uncomfortably from me and observed me distrustfully.

So I danced. I swayed. I worshipped.

She was heavy in my arms so I held her tighter. I propped her up and wrapped her legs around my middle.

We danced. She began to sink into my arms.

And the Holy Spirit began to melt my iron fortress.

Waves of grief and love came out in gushes of tears that drenched her now slumbering head.

Faces of people I'd mothered in ministry and in life flashed before my eyes.

I stopped dancing. I swayed. I sang. I bawled my eyes out and the Holy Spirit did what only He can do best.

He healed my aching mommas heart. The one injured from years of ministry and heartache.

The music stopped. We sat down and she cuddled me while she slept. All the while my new soft heart felt alive again.

Where there was anger and resentment. There was love. Where there was dryness and bitterness there was a desire to nurture once again.

I do not know her name. And so I have given her one from the depths of my soul.

Murakoze, thank you in Kinyarwanda (the language of Rwanda).

Later I learned that Murakoze, had no mother in her life. She and her brother were being raised by her grandmother.

This is my prayer for her to this day and every day that I remember her.

I pray she will never feel the hole in her heart from her mother wound.

I pray that she will be filled with the same healing power that came over me that day.

I pray she will be loved well by her grandmother and the spiritual mothers God gives her.

I pray my healing moment was hers too.

Murakoze Yesu. Thank you Jesus.